Hurt comes in all different forms, times, places and the depth of it varies. For me the way I feel right now, it is the depth of the pain I feel.
That depth goes into my being, it suffocates me from the inside out. It clings to my soul. How did it all come to this, how did my life become so complicated when all I ever wanted was for it to be one of peace. Easy.
I have sat at this window many times before, staring into the distance. Once upon a time, on the days like these, all I wanted to do was sit here, my mind clouded in thoughts of one man, as that said man watched me from the lone seat while he savored his bourbon, sip by sip.
Only today, it is tainted. The rain washes away the remnants of the morning, a mirror to my angry out lash.
“Are you sure?” I ask him.
He is behind me, I know because of his reflection in the glass. His hands in his pocket, forever the refined man. Sabastian was groomed to be an imposing force before he was even born. It runs in his genes, his blood.
He will never be any other way, but the man who will hold your world up with just his determination, and bring it crashing down with his will. He will weaken you, and rebuild you until all you see, need and want is him. You can’t deny it, I can’t deny him.
“Yes, the test was negative.” He says, and the relief in my shoulders is nothing compared to the one in my heart.
A month ago, Sabastian had sex with my friend, Victoria Stone. He came clean to me a few days ago. It was then we finally had out talk. We put an end to our silence and a beginning to something more.
Victoria’s pregnancy was the one thing that caused a problem between the two of us. He would have to be there if she was pregnant and I would have to come to terms with how I feel about it. How he felt about Reagan and I.
Reagan, who I haven’t said a word to this last month, besides that we were done. I didn’t even apologize.
Thank you for reading. Below is a Youtube playlist, feel free to listen or add a few songs. And for those of you who have no idea what is happening, below is links for the first 3 seasons of School Me